Forwarded Emails

Ya, you know what I'm talking about, you guilty ones. Forwarded emails are at least in the top ten of my least favorite annoying things. "If you forward this email to six and a half billion people, you will get ONE MILLION punches in the face! That's right, ONE MILLION punches in the face!" The culprits are everywhere. From you cousin to you grandma to that poor girl with cancer that simply won't be able to be cured unless! you help out and send this to ten of your friends and contribute to this absolutely hopeless cause. Note: It is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to track down a forwarded email without forwarding everything backward from everybody that sent you an email back from when they sent emails to all of their friends. Which means, if the chain continues, the person at the bottom will have ten thousand emails in five generations of the chain. If I'm not explaining this clearly, here's a link to snopes.com, the ending note on matters like this:
http://snopes.com/inboxer/school/names.asp
I'm also not going to go for guilt trips, like "forward this if you beleive in America being free!" It doesn't work on me. I totally agree with the message, but just sending it to people who agree with me won't help fix stuff and sending it to people who for some reason don't won't be changed by sending a stupid email. The worst are the ones with so many typos I can't actually tell what's going on. Worse than that is when not only are there typos, but there are also the forwarding lists of hundreds of email addresses that sent this along to thousands of other poor blokes. I can honestly be ashamed of the human race when I see something like this. (Especially when I notice that most of the sender's addresses end in "cullen".) On a personal level, I will sometimes do a lame friend quiz thing just because I'm bored, but when I do, I retype the entire thing because the enter spaces have gone backwards, words and sentences are missing arms and legs, AOL ads riddle the whole thing and nobody in this whole neverending list of forwards and replies has bothered to do anything. And how easy is it to type that if you forward this, you'll get a promotion or if you don't you'll die and your parents will die and your town will be bombed and your country will go to war with Afghanistan. How gullible are people these days? I know I'm getting a little worked up about this, and I know everybody does it, and "it only takes five minutes!" but the straws have piled and the camel's back is broken. No more forwarded emails. The human race is GROUNDED. If you want to communicate, try actually coming up with something! Do you really want to see your crushes name flash on the screen? Has that ever actually worked? Sending people forwarded stories to stop people from going suicidal is probably the lamest thing I've ever heard! I get those and I'm almost insulted by them, because they say "I love you enough to send you this email I've sent to fifty other people, but not enough to actually say 'Hi!' and start a conversation. Look at how the world sees you!"

I'm really sorry, I'm kinda on a chocolate hangover (had like the whole box of gourmet ones yesterday) but seriously. No more.