Look out, world...

I, being about a year late in this, had my first drive for driver's ed today. Here is the transcript:

Before we even left Central High to go to the stake center where we'd start, Mr. Barton got into the car with me in the front passenger seat and Jacob Nelson and Liz Hansen in the back.

Me: Did you look around the car for watermarks (whatever those are), Mr. Barton?

Mr. Barton: I had checked the car before I left the Jr. High to get it.

Me: But how do you know something didn't happen to- Hey look, candy!

It kind of went downhill from there. He had opened the glove compartment to throw something in, exposing a bag of Lifesavers. I never got any.

Later, at the Rexburg Stake center at the edge of town..

Me: Um.

Mr. Barton is knawing off bits of an oversized granola bar.

Barton: Sorry, I never got a breakfast, so I'm just..

Me: Ya, you're fine. It smells good.

He ignores me.

Barton: So. Adjust your chair.

Me: Can't... um.. Oh. There's the button.

I appropriately fix my seat, after much tension and prodding from the instructor.

Me: There.

Barton: Touch the brake.

Me: Touching the brake.

Barton: Now touch the gas... Move your foot... move your heel over.. there you go.

Me: Got it.

Barton: Now turn on the car.

I think the adreneline went through my blood just as fast as the car ignited to life.

Me: Whoa.

I could swear I could hear Jacob and Liz's nervousness growing.

Barton: Hold the brake.

Me: Hold the brake.

Barton: Now shift into drive. Press the button.

Me: Kay.

Barton: Now let go of the brake and let the car creep.

Me: Let go of the brakes.

Barton: Now pull us to a gentle stop..

Me: Stop.

The car jerk to a sudden riggidy stop, which was weird, because we going, like, what, .02 mph?

Liz: Whoa.

Jacob: Whoa.

Barton: That was semi-gentle...

Me: Whoa.

Barton: Now let go of the brake.

Me: Let go of the brake.

Barton: Now press the gas.

Me: Press the gas. (though I was thinking maybe he'd gone crazy, I was perfectly comfortable leaving that thing alone)

Barton: Now stop!

Me: Stop.

The car lurches to a stop slightly smoother than the last time.

Barton: Now I want you to turn gently around this corner. Turn on your left signal. Press the gas...

Me: Turn the corner. Left light. Press the gas.

Barton: Drive into that tree.

Me: Drive into the tree.

What?

Barton: Drive straight through the parking lot, aiming for the tree.

Me: Oh.

...

Barton: Left signal.

Me: Left signal.

Barton: Quit repeating everything I say.

Me: Right.

Barton: Let go of the gas.

Me: I'm letting go of the gas.

Barton: Turn. Sharper!

He hits his brake in a confusing moment where I think he was trying to get me to turn before I thought he wanted me to turn before I was ready, resulting in him stomping on his brake and grabbing the wheel from me. After he corrected the course, I got in control again and slowly mde my way across the lot.

Barton: "I will not repeat everything Mr. Barton says."

Me: I will not re... oh. Right.

This kind of shut me up the rest of the drive, though I kind of had to resist the urge to copy him the entire time. I swear I wasn't doing it to be annoying, but I was nervous and one way I'm sure to retain information is by saying it aloud. So there.