Gosh, Miles, you're really starting to get to me with that whole writing thing. This is a revisit to an old topic, but completely redone. It's about a precognetic (sees the future) person. This is not him.
The man closed his eyes and began to draw. When he opened them, a rose, despite its protecting thorns, was under a siege laid by birds and aphids that were bursting from inside it. Most of the petals were wilted, and one was peacefully but remorsefully falling to the soft ground. The man looked up, his eye full of tears.
"It's too late".
The room around him, a studio apartment littered in hundreds of papers, drawn on and beautifully rendered, each significant in its own, exploded in a fiery blaze.
AWESOME!!!!!! Good description! Good idea! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteinteresting. Be careful with the whole Future thing. Now, I'm confused again: did his entire apartment catch on fire? or are just the papers burning, or is it a metaphor. You'd better elucidate soon, or a reader would put a book down on the basis that it hurt their head. It happens all the time.
ReplyDeleteBut the descriptions are good, and you've already captured my attention. I want to find out what happened to the guy!
One more thought: i don't know how to imagine the artist dude. My mind instantly filled in with a scrawny man probably about fifty years old in grey, old clothes, and losing his prematurely grayed hair. If that's not what you want me to imagine, then throw a bit more imagery in there.
It says "the room exploded" if you look carefully, and i'm going to put the man- who you were actually quite close to describing later- or perhaps earlier, if I decide on a "flashback" kind of timeline, so you'll get more description of him then. But perhaps I should add a sentance like "combs his fiingers through thick black hair" or something. thanks for the review.
ReplyDeleteJust always keep in mind the fact that you know everything and we don't. If you do that, I think this story will be awesome!
ReplyDelete